Ranking: 3.46 / 181
Peter was telling a friend that he had just lost his job. “
Why did the foreman fire you?” the friend asked in surprise.
“Oh,” Peter said, “you know how foreman are. They stand around with their hands in their pockets watching everybody else work.”
“We all know that,” replied his friend. “But why did he let you go?”
“Jealousy,” answered Pete. “All the other workers thought I was the foreman.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jul/12/2002 pub.:Jul/12/2002 sent:Jun/7/2012
Ranking: 3.80 / 74
WHAT THE NEW JOB-LINGO REALLY MEANS by Dede Molter
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED": You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED": Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY": Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL": We have no quality control.
Thanks to: Dede Molter - USA.
rec.:May/23/1999 pub.:May/23/1999 sent:May/23/1999
Ranking: 3.50 / 101
A UNI graduate is applying for a part time job to help with his course fees. He applies to work in a supermarket and gets the job. The first day the manager tells him to sweep the floor, the UNI grad. is furious and shouts "hey mate, don't you know that I have several degrees in various areas of science and after seven years of going to university you ask me to sweep the floor". The manager replied “Oh sorry, I didn't know that, here pass me the broom and I’ll show you how to sweep the floor."
Thanks to: Jared - Adelaide - SA - Australia
rec.:Dec/19/2010 pub.:Feb/13/2011 sent:Feb/27/2011
Ranking: 2.84 / 283
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."
"We're short-handed, Smith," the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."
"Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"
Thanks to: Walter "I sing the blues" Smith
rec.:Dec/13/1999 pub.:Dec/13/1999 sent:May/11/2003