Ranking: 3.63 / 71
Notice to Employees (Includes Temporary and Part Time Staff)
We will no longer accept your doctors' notes as proof.
We believe if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to work.
LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR SURGERY
We are no longer allowing this practice. As long as you are employed here, you will need all of whatever you have and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for. Anyone having any type of surgery will be FIRED immediately.
In the event of extreme pregnancy, you will be allowed to go to the first aid room when the pains are FIVE MINUTES apart. If it is false labor, you will have to take an hour's leave without pay.
This will be accepted as an excuse, BUT we would like two weeks notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone your job prior to . . . or after death.
This new benefit program goes into effect immediately.
Thanks to: Rob Blackmore - Oxford - United Kingdom
rec.:Apr/26/2007 pub.:Apr/30/2007 sent:Mar/30/2008
Ranking: 3.29 / 110
One day, an employee received an unusually large check. She decided not to say anything about it. The following week, her check was for less that the normal amount, and she confronted her boss. “How come,” the supervisor inquired, “you didn’t say anything when you were overpaid?”
Unperturbed, the employee replied, “Well, I can overlook one mistake – but not two in a row!”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Feb/28/2006 pub.:Feb/28/2006 sent:Jul/17/2009
Ranking: 3.33 / 99
An executive was interviewing a young woman for a position in his company. He wanted to learn something about her personality, so he asked, "if you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?"
She quickly responded, "The living one."
Thanks to: Elizabeth - Australia
rec.:May/28/2002 pub.:Aug/4/2002 sent:Feb/7/2013
Ranking: 3.26 / 109
Top ten ways that you know you are suffering from "job burnout"
10. You're so tired; you now answer the phone, "Hell."
9. Your friends call to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, "Get off my back!!"
8. Your garbage can IS your "In" box.
7. You wake up to discover that your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you just don't care.
6. You have so much on your mind; you've forgotten how to pee.
5. Visions of the upcoming weekend help you make it through Monday.
4. You don't set your alarm anymore because you know the pager will go off before the alarm does.
3. You leave for a party and instinctively bring your ID badge.
2. Your Day Timer exploded a week ago.
1. You think about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now
Thanks to: Arsen Vladimirsky - Chicago - IL - USA.
rec.:Mar/1/2000 pub.:Mar/1/2000 sent:Jun/27/2003