Category: Work Jokes



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Ranking: 3.26 / 109
Top ten ways that you know you are suffering from "job burnout"

10. You're so tired; you now answer the phone, "Hell."
9. Your friends call to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, "Get off my back!!"
8. Your garbage can IS your "In" box.
7. You wake up to discover that your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you just don't care.
6. You have so much on your mind; you've forgotten how to pee.
5. Visions of the upcoming weekend help you make it through Monday.
4. You don't set your alarm anymore because you know the pager will go off before the alarm does.
3. You leave for a party and instinctively bring your ID badge.
2. Your Day Timer exploded a week ago.
1. You think about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now
#600    
Thanks to: Arsen Vladimirsky - Chicago - IL - USA.
rec.:Mar/1/2000    pub.:Mar/1/2000    sent:Jun/27/2003


Ranking: 2.97 / 168
The factory foreman inspected the shipment of crystal vases leaving the plant, and approached his new packer. He put his arm around the manís shoulder and said,
ďWell, Ole, I see you did what I asked. Stamped the top of each box, ĎThis Side Up,
Handle With Care.íĒ
ďYes sir,Ē the worker replied. ďAnd just to make sure, I stamped it on the bottom too.Ē
#10723    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Aug/7/2003    pub.:Aug/7/2003    sent:Jan/8/2013


Ranking: 3.21 / 113
A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said: "We have a critical shortage of typists. I'll give you a little test. Type this," he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine.

The man, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible.
The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance.
"That's fine," he said; "Report for work at 8 tomorrow."
"But aren't you going to check the test?" the prospective clerk asked.
The sergeant grinned. "You passed the test," he replied, "when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine."
#895    
Thanks to: Anonymous
rec.:Dec/20/2000    pub.:Dec/20/2000    sent:Feb/6/2013


Ranking: 3.32 / 94

Iím Tired!

Yes, Iím tired. For several years Iíve been blaming it on getting older, lack of sleep, weekend projects, stale office air, poor nutrition, carrying extra pounds, raising a family, recent colds, and a dozen other reasons that make you wonder why life is getting rough. .

But now I found out whatís really happening! Iím tired because Iím overworked. The population of the USA reached 300 million last October. 79 million of the populations are retired. That leaves 221 million to do the work. There are 19 million toddlers and 76 million students in schools, which leave 126 million to do the work. Of that total, 21 million are unemployed leaving 105 million to do the work.

Then you take away 34 million in hospitals and that leaves 71 million to do the work. 43 million are in prisons and thatís 28 million left to do the work. Now take away 14,683,468 federal, 5,344,722 state and 5,370,743 city workers who run our government and youíre left with 2,601,067 to do the work. Take away the 2,601,065 people in the armed forces and that leaves just two people to do the work - You and Me! And youíre just sitting there reading this!
No wonder Iím tired!!!

#17345    
Thanks to: Rob Tworek - USA.
rec.:Oct/27/2006    pub.:Nov/13/2006    sent:Nov/17/2006


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