Category: Work Jokes

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Ranking: 3.21 / 116
A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said: "We have a critical shortage of typists. I'll give you a little test. Type this," he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine.

The man, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible.
The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance.
"That's fine," he said; "Report for work at 8 tomorrow."
"But aren't you going to check the test?" the prospective clerk asked.
The sergeant grinned. "You passed the test," he replied, "when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine."
Thanks to: Anonymous
rec.:Dec/20/2000    pub.:Dec/20/2000    sent:Feb/6/2013

Ranking: 3.18 / 120
Top ten ways that you know you are suffering from "job burnout"

10. You're so tired; you now answer the phone, "Hell."
9. Your friends call to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, "Get off my back!!"
8. Your garbage can IS your "In" box.
7. You wake up to discover that your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you just don't care.
6. You have so much on your mind; you've forgotten how to pee.
5. Visions of the upcoming weekend help you make it through Monday.
4. You don't set your alarm anymore because you know the pager will go off before the alarm does.
3. You leave for a party and instinctively bring your ID badge.
2. Your Day Timer exploded a week ago.
1. You think about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now
Thanks to: Arsen Vladimirsky - Chicago - IL - USA.
rec.:Mar/1/2000    pub.:Mar/1/2000    sent:Jul/12/2015

Ranking: 3.24 / 110
There was a doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist sitting around late one evening, and they discussed which the oldest profession was. The doctor pointed out that according to Biblical tradition, God created Eve from Adam's rib. This obviously required surgery, so therefore that was the oldest profession in the world. The engineer countered with an earlier passage in the Bible that stated that God created order from the chaos, and that was most certainly the biggest and best civil engineering example ever, and also proved that his profession was the oldest profession. The computer scientist leaned back in her chair, and with a sly smile responded, "Yes, but whom do you think created the chaos?"
Thanks to: Andrew Bush - Weymouth - Dorset - United Kingdom
rec.:Nov/1/2004    pub.:Nov/1/2004    sent:Aug/11/2009

Ranking: 3.24 / 109
A man is being interviewed for a job. “What are your qualifications for the job of night watchman?” “The slightest noise wakes me up.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Dec/4/2009    pub.:Dec/4/2009    sent:Aug/6/2015

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