work jokes

According to a new survey, Americans feel that we should all be able to retire when we're 44 years old.

I did.

I just didn't let my boss know.

In most offices, the photocopier is out of order every now and then. One copy repairman had answered question after question for the employees. Finally one day, he just smiled and handed them this sheet.

The copier is out of order!
Yes, we have called the service man.
Yes, he will be in today.
No, we cannot fix it.
No, we do not know how long it will take.
No, we do not know what caused it.
No, we do not know who broke it.
Yes, we are keeping it.
No, we do not know what you are going to do now.

Thank You

Passing an office building late one night, the lady saw a sign that said, "Press bell for night watchman."

She did so, and after several minutes she heard the watchman clomping down the stairs. The uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door.

"Well," he snarled at her, "what do you want?"

"I just wanted to know why you can't ring the doorbell for yourself?"

I was working in my downtown flower shop, when I noticed a man grab a bouquet and head for the door without paying.

By the time I got to the door, he was halfway down the block.

As I ran after him, I heard a woman across the street yell, "Run, Florist, Run!"