Category: Work Jokes

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Ranking: 3.21 / 116
A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said: "We have a critical shortage of typists. I'll give you a little test. Type this," he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine.

The man, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible.
The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance.
"That's fine," he said; "Report for work at 8 tomorrow."
"But aren't you going to check the test?" the prospective clerk asked.
The sergeant grinned. "You passed the test," he replied, "when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine."
#895    
Thanks to: Anonymous
rec.:Dec/20/2000    pub.:Dec/20/2000    sent:Feb/6/2013


Ranking: 3.24 / 110
There was a doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist sitting around late one evening, and they discussed which the oldest profession was. The doctor pointed out that according to Biblical tradition, God created Eve from Adam's rib. This obviously required surgery, so therefore that was the oldest profession in the world. The engineer countered with an earlier passage in the Bible that stated that God created order from the chaos, and that was most certainly the biggest and best civil engineering example ever, and also proved that his profession was the oldest profession. The computer scientist leaned back in her chair, and with a sly smile responded, "Yes, but whom do you think created the chaos?"
#14090    
Thanks to: Andrew Bush - Weymouth - Dorset - United Kingdom
rec.:Nov/1/2004    pub.:Nov/1/2004    sent:Aug/11/2009


Ranking: 3.33 / 95

Iím Tired!

Yes, Iím tired. For several years Iíve been blaming it on getting older, lack of sleep, weekend projects, stale office air, poor nutrition, carrying extra pounds, raising a family, recent colds, and a dozen other reasons that make you wonder why life is getting rough. .

But now I found out whatís really happening! Iím tired because Iím overworked. The population of the USA reached 300 million last October. 79 million of the populations are retired. That leaves 221 million to do the work. There are 19 million toddlers and 76 million students in schools, which leave 126 million to do the work. Of that total, 21 million are unemployed leaving 105 million to do the work.

Then you take away 34 million in hospitals and that leaves 71 million to do the work. 43 million are in prisons and thatís 28 million left to do the work. Now take away 14,683,468 federal, 5,344,722 state and 5,370,743 city workers who run our government and youíre left with 2,601,067 to do the work. Take away the 2,601,065 people in the armed forces and that leaves just two people to do the work - You and Me! And youíre just sitting there reading this!
No wonder Iím tired!!!

#17345    
Thanks to: Rob Tworek - USA.
rec.:Oct/27/2006    pub.:Nov/13/2006    sent:Nov/17/2006


Ranking: 3.29 / 98
A man is being interviewed for a job. ďWhat are your qualifications for the job of night watchman?Ē ďThe slightest noise wakes me up.Ē
#20659    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Dec/4/2009    pub.:Dec/4/2009    sent:Mar/31/2013


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