Category: Work Jokes



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Ranking: 3.23 / 108
There was a doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist sitting around late one evening, and they discussed which the oldest profession was. The doctor pointed out that according to Biblical tradition, God created Eve from Adam's rib. This obviously required surgery, so therefore that was the oldest profession in the world. The engineer countered with an earlier passage in the Bible that stated that God created order from the chaos, and that was most certainly the biggest and best civil engineering example ever, and also proved that his profession was the oldest profession. The computer scientist leaned back in her chair, and with a sly smile responded, "Yes, but whom do you think created the chaos?"
#14090    
Thanks to: Andrew Bush - Weymouth - Dorset - United Kingdom
rec.:Nov/1/2004    pub.:Nov/1/2004    sent:Aug/11/2009


Ranking: 3.32 / 94

Iím Tired!

Yes, Iím tired. For several years Iíve been blaming it on getting older, lack of sleep, weekend projects, stale office air, poor nutrition, carrying extra pounds, raising a family, recent colds, and a dozen other reasons that make you wonder why life is getting rough. .

But now I found out whatís really happening! Iím tired because Iím overworked. The population of the USA reached 300 million last October. 79 million of the populations are retired. That leaves 221 million to do the work. There are 19 million toddlers and 76 million students in schools, which leave 126 million to do the work. Of that total, 21 million are unemployed leaving 105 million to do the work.

Then you take away 34 million in hospitals and that leaves 71 million to do the work. 43 million are in prisons and thatís 28 million left to do the work. Now take away 14,683,468 federal, 5,344,722 state and 5,370,743 city workers who run our government and youíre left with 2,601,067 to do the work. Take away the 2,601,065 people in the armed forces and that leaves just two people to do the work - You and Me! And youíre just sitting there reading this!
No wonder Iím tired!!!

#17345    
Thanks to: Rob Tworek - USA.
rec.:Oct/27/2006    pub.:Nov/13/2006    sent:Nov/17/2006


Ranking: 3.28 / 96
A man is being interviewed for a job. ďWhat are your qualifications for the job of night watchman?Ē ďThe slightest noise wakes me up.Ē
#20659    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Dec/4/2009    pub.:Dec/4/2009    sent:Mar/31/2013


Ranking: 2.88 / 179
Three visitors to London climb up the tower that houses Big Ben and decide to have a contest. They're going to throw their watches off the top, run down the stairs and try to catch the watches before they hit the ground.

The first tourist throws his watch, takes three steps and hears his watch crash. The second throws his watch and takes only two steps when he hears his watch shatter.

The third tosses his watch off the tower, jogs down the stairs, goes to a candy store, buys a snack, walks back to Big Ben and catches his watch. "How did you do that?" asks one of his friends.

"My watch is 30 minutes slow."
#4656    
Thanks to: matt friedman - NASHVILL - tn - USA.
rec.:May/19/2002    pub.:Jul/28/2002    sent:Mar/1/2013


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