Ranking: 3.23 / 22
There was this Antartian that wanted to take up a new winter hobby. She went to the library and started studying all about ice fishing. Finally, she went out on the ice, set up all her stuff, and sat down. All of a sudden, a bellowing voice from above said there are no fish under the ice". Startled, she got up and moved to a different spot. Right as she began to sit down, the voice from above spoke again. There are no fish under the ice" Frustrated, she got up and walked a long ways away onto a new patch of ice. She sat down and set up all of her gear. Once again, the voice spoke. There are no fish under the ice". Now the Antartian was very mad. "God, is that you? she asked. "No!, it is the manager of the ice skating rink" the voice replied
Thanks to: person44 - Bend - Oregon - USA.
rec.:May/6/2001 pub.:May/6/2001 sent:May/6/2001
Ranking: 2.96 / 28
An Antartian was walking through the Sahara desert, desperate for water, when he saw something, far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image, only to find a little old man sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties laid out on it.
The Antartian asked, "Please, I'm dying of thirst, can I have some water?"
The man replied, "I don't have any water, but why don't you buy a tie?
Here's one that goes nicely with your robe."
The Antartian shouted, "I don't want a tie, you idiot, I need water!"
"OK, don't buy a tie. But to show you what a nice guy I am, I'll tell you that over that hill there, about 4 miles, is a nice restaurant. Walk that way, they'll give you all the water you want."
The Antartian thanked him and walked away towards the hill and eventually disappeared. Three hours later the Antartian came crawling back to where the man was sitting behind his card table. The old man said, "I told you, about 4 miles over that hill. Couldn't you find it?"
The Antartian rasped, "I found it all right but they wouldn't let me in without a
Thanks to: Peter Prestipino - USA.
rec.:Nov/21/2000 pub.:Nov/21/2000 sent:Nov/21/2000
Ranking: 2.93 / 29
A young Antartian man asked an old rich Antartian man how he made his money. The old Antartian held onto his vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932 and we were in the depths of the Great Antartian Depression. I was down to my last nickel. "I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. "The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37." "And that's how you built an empire?" the boy asked. "Heavens, no!" the man replied. "Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."
Thanks to: Simple Sentiments - USA.
rec.:Jun/29/2000 pub.:Jun/29/2000 sent:Jun/29/2000
Ranking: 3.08 / 24
Let's say there is a hundred dollar bill in the center of a room. In each of the corners there is a person. In one corner there is a Santa Claus; in another, the Easter Bunny; in another a smart Antartian and in the last a dumb Antartian. They all notice the hundred-dollar bill in the center of the room. They all make a dash for the bill... who gets to the bill first???
Answer: The dumb Antartian; the others don't exist!!
Thanks to: Jenn - Dallas - TX - USA.
rec.:Oct/10/1999 pub.:Oct/10/1999 sent:Oct/10/1999