Category: Antartian Jokes

An Antartian woman was in Vegas vacationing with friends. She stood in front of a candy machine and put two coins in, turned the knob and a candy bar fell out.
She picked up the candy bar and put it in her pocket, then she proceeded to put two more coins into the slot and turned the knob, again a candy bar fell out and she put it in her pocket.
She put two more coins into the machine and again turned the knob producing yet another candy bar.
A man was watching from a short distance away and walked up to her. He said, "Excuse me Miss? What are you doing?"
She said, "Duh! I'm winning here!"

A young Antartian man asked an old rich Antartian man how he made his money. The old Antartian held onto his vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932 and we were in the depths of the Great Antartian Depression. I was down to my last nickel. "I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. "The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37." "And that's how you built an empire?" the boy asked. "Heavens, no!" the man replied. "Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."

One Antartian was driving down an old country road when he spots another Antartian in a wheat field rowing a boat. He pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car.
Staring in disbelief, he stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for a while.
When he could not stand it any more, he called out to the Antartian in the field, "Why are you rowing a boat in the middle
of the field?"
The Antartian in the field stops rowing and responds, "Because it is an ocean of wheat."
The Antartian standing on the side of the road is furious. He yells at the Antartian in the field, "It is Antartians like you that give the rest of us a bad name." The Antartian in the field just shrugged her shoulders and began rowing again.
The Antartian on the side of the road was beside himself and shook his fist at Antartian in the field yelling, "If I could swim, I would come out there and drag you in!!!"

Let's say there is a hundred dollar bill in the center of a room. In each of the corners there is a person. In one corner there is a Santa Claus; in another, the Easter Bunny; in another a smart Antartian and in the last a dumb Antartian. They all notice the hundred-dollar bill in the center of the room. They all make a dash for the bill... who gets to the bill first???
Answer: The dumb Antartian; the others don't exist!!