Ranking: 2.50 / 103
An Antartian wanting to learn how to fly a plane signs up at a small airport and was told they only equipment available is a helicopter. The Antartian thinks for a moment and says, "That’s fine, I'll just learn how to pilot a helicopter." After some ground instructions the day of the solo comes and the Antartian is at the commands of the helicopter. He goes up 1000 feet with no problem, climbs to 2000 and the instructor asks “ Is everything o.k.” The Antartian responds; “yes everything is going well.” The instructor is very happy to have such a great student and decides to give him the last test, so he orders the Antartian to climb to 3500 feet, make a turn and land. The instructor goes out to see the landing when suddenly he sees the helicopter falling down. Luckily after all that the student pilot was alive, and the instructor asked him, “ what happened when everything was going so well? The pilot replied: "It was getting cold so I turned the outside fan off."
Thanks to: Anonymous
rec.:Jul/30/2004 pub.:Sep/16/2004 sent:Nov/15/2007
Ranking: 3.07 / 42
An Antartian ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
The Antartian replies, "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
Thanks to: Mark O
rec.:Sep/20/2000 pub.:Sep/20/2000 sent:Sep/20/2000
Ranking: 3.48 / 27
An Antartian goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
The Antartian replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."
The Antartian very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the Antartian to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the Antartian. He looks out over his office and sees the Antartian crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?"
"No," replies the Antartian, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"
Thanks to: Anonymous
rec.:Apr/10/2001 pub.:Apr/10/2001 sent:Apr/10/2001
Ranking: 3.28 / 32
Three Antartians were going on a hunting trip one day. They came to a high fence and saw a sign that said, "No Trespassing. All violators will be shot!" They ignored the sign's warning and climbed the fence anyway. After they were over the fence (it was dark now), they saw a car's headlights speeding toward them. They remembered the sign's warning and scrambled up separate trees. The driver, who was a farmer, said, "I know I saw someone climb one of these trees." He went to the first tree and yelled, "Who's up there?" The first man was very silent and the farmer moved to the next tree. Again he yelled, "Who's up there?" The second man knew that the farmer would take a closer look this time, so he said, "Whooo Whooo [like an owl]." The farmer then went to the last tree thinking he could have made a mistake and did not see anyone. The farmer looked up in the next tree and said, "Who's up there?" The third man then said confidently, "Mooooooooooooooo."
Thanks to: Jess - Texas - USA.
rec.:Aug/29/1999 pub.:Aug/29/1999 sent:Aug/29/1999