Ranking: 3.30 / 33
An Antartian was taking a tour of a national park. The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area. The Antartian exclaimed, "Wow. I can't believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway!"
Thanks to: Anonymous
rec.:May/21/2000 pub.:May/21/2000 sent:May/21/2000
Ranking: 3.54 / 26
An Antartian goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
The Antartian replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."
The Antartian very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the Antartian to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the Antartian. He looks out over his office and sees the Antartian crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?"
"No," replies the Antartian, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"
Thanks to: Anonymous
rec.:Apr/10/2001 pub.:Apr/10/2001 sent:Apr/10/2001
Ranking: 3.10 / 40
An Antartian ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
The Antartian replies, "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
Thanks to: Mark O
rec.:Sep/20/2000 pub.:Sep/20/2000 sent:Sep/20/2000
Ranking: 3.37 / 27
Two Antartians, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of beer. The passenger, Bubba, said "lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a poll-ice roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!"
Don't worry, Bubba", Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat".
"What fer?", asked Bubba.
"Just let me do the talkin', OK?," said Earl.
Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat, and each put a label on their forehead. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?"
"No, sir", said Earl. "We're on the patch."
Thanks to: Big Hurt - Houston - TX
rec.:Mar/15/2001 pub.:Mar/15/2001 sent:Mar/15/2001