The last 50 jokes entered

A group of friends who went deer hunting separated into pairs for the day. That night, one hunter retuned alone, staggering under an eight-point buck. “Where is Mike?” asked another hunter. “He fainted a couple of miles up the trail,” Mike’s partner answered. “You left him lying there alone and carried the deer back?” “A tough call,” said the hunter. “But I figured no one is going to steal Mike.”

Rose accompanied her husband Tom to his annual checkup. While Tom was getting dressed, the doctor came out and said to Rose, “I don’t like the way he looks.” “Neither do I,” she said. “But he’s handy around the house.”

Carl used to practice meditation on an old mat. His wife was not happy about the worn-out mat. One day Carl found the rug missing from its usual place. “Where is it?” he asked her sternly. “It has achieved nirvana,” she retorted.

A stage mother cornered the concert violinist in his dressing room and insisted he listen to a tape of her talented son playing the violin. The man agreed to listen, and the woman switched on the tape player. “What music’” the violinist thought. A difficult piece, but played with such genius that it brought tears to his eyes. He listened spellbound to the entire recording. “Madam,” he whispered is that your son?” “No, she replied. “That’s Jascha Heifetz. But my son sounds just like him.”