A couple took a puddle-jumping flight with 4 stops on the way to Dallas. At the first stop, a little white truck drove up to the plane's wing.
Wife: "What's that truck doing?"
Husband: "We're taking on more fuel."
The refueling process was repeated at the next two stops as well. At the last stop before Dallas:
Husband: "Ya know, in spite of all these delays, we're making pretty good time."
Wife (pointing out the window): "Maybe -- but that little white truck is keeping up with us!"
At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate 41."
So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41. Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate 35. So, again, we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate.
Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke again. "Thank you for participating in Delta's physical fitness program."
After boarding and taking off for a long flight over the ocean, the speaker comes on with an important message for passengers.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we are introducing you today to the latest and newest aviation advancement in history. This plane is flying without a pilot or co-pilot. It is controlled by way of radio from the ground. Sit back and relax and enjoy your flight. Be assured that absolutely nothing can go wrong, absolutely nothing can go wrong, absolutely nothing can go wrong, absolutely nothing can go wrong. ~~~~~~~~~~"