Rajiv and Priya are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.
Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives."
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.
An hour later, Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, “Priya, did we pay our deposit cheque yet to ICICI Bank?”
“No, sweetheart” she responds.
Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, “Priya, did we pay our ICICI Bank Mastercard yet?”
“Oh no! I’m sorry. I forgot to send the cheque,” she says.
“One last thing, Priya. Did you remember to send cheques for the auto loan to them too this month?” he asks.
“Oh, forgive me, Rajiv,” begged Priya. “I didn’t send that one, either.”
Rajiv grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 40 years. Priya pulls away and asks him, “So, why did you hug me?”
“Rajiv answers, “They’ll find us!”
Smart answer by a female...
On a flight, a guy asked a beautiful lady sitting next to him. "Nice perfume.....which brand is it? I want to gift it to my wife."
Lady replies, "Don't give it to her, some idiot will find an excuse to talk to her!"
Jack was sitting in an airplane when another guy took the seat beside him. The new guy was an absolute wreck, pale, hands shaking, biting his nails and moaning in fear.
"Hey, pal, what's the matter?" Jack asked
"Oh man... I've been transferred to California," the other guy answered, "there's crazy people in California and they have shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, the highest crime rate..."
"Hold on," Jack interrupted, "I've lived in California all my life, and it is not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a good school and it's as safe as anywhere in the world."
The other passenger relaxed and stopped shaking for a moment and said, "Oh, thank you. I've been worried to death, but if you live there and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?"
"Me?" said Jack, "I'm a tail gunner on a bread truck."
Signs You've Chosen a "No Frills" Airline:
You can't board the plane unless you have the exact change.
Before you take off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.
The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.
When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.
The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.
You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he says, "Just once."
No movie. Don't need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.
You see a man with a gun, but he's demanding to be let off the plane.
All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.