"This is your captain speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic.
If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off.
If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you.
That's me, the copilot, and one of the stewardesses. This is a recording."
Two skydivers, Harold and Lester, jumped out of the plane and were having a conversation on the way down.
Lester: "I was in a hurry this morning, and I can't remember if I asked you to pack my chute for me."
Harold: "I've been pretty forgetful myself. I'm lucky I remembered to pack mine."
Lester: "Wait a minute. You mean I forget to ask you to pack my chute for me?"
Harold: "No, silly. You didn't forget to ask me to pack your chute. I'm the one who actually forgot to pack your chute!"
Lester: "Phew! Thank goodness, for a minute there I thought I was losing my mind!"