Amos had been drinking with his friend Joe for most of the evening when he finally said, "I need to go home and face the music, my wife will be up and waiting for me."
Joe said, "Listen, I have a cure for the angry wife waiting for me after a late night. No more sneaking up the stairs with my shoes off. I drive into the yard and screech the brakes. Then I slam the door and stomp up the stairs to the bedroom where I enter and say your stud puppy is home."
Amos replies, "What does she do then?"
"Why nothing. She just curls up on her side of the bed and pretends to be asleep."
Joe and Mark, two small-town merchants were visiting New York City for the first time to attend a conference. There was a large party thrown, with lots of food and refreshments. At the end of the party, they both went outside.
Joe crossed the street, while Mark wandered into a subway entrance. When Joe came back, he noticed Mark emerging from the subway stairs.
"Where did you go?" Joe asked enthusiastically.
"I don't know," gushed Mark, "but you should see the train set that guy has in his basement!"