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Category: "Bar & Drinking Jokes"
0 votes

A quiet, little man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He sits there sipping his beer and minding his own business. All of a sudden, a big guy walks up to him and knocks him out cold and says to the barkeep, "When he wakes up, tell him that was a right-hook from Big Mike Finnigan."

A week later the little man shows up at the same bar and orders a beer. He again, sits there sipping his beer and minding his own business. The same big guy walks up to him, and the little guy knocks him out cold.

As he leaves the bar, the little guy says to the barkeep, "When he wakes up, tell him that was a crowbar from Sears."

0 votes
posted by "Caesar" |
0 votes

Guy walks into bar, pulling on a long chain.

The bartender asks him, "You come in here everyday pulling that chain, why?"

The guy replies, "You ever tried to push one?"

0 votes
posted by "Robert Hill" |
$15.00 won 2 votes

A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.

Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says, "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"

The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"

2 votes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "CPipe" |
$6.00 won 2 votes

A man walks into a bar, already drunk, and asks for a drink. "Sorry," the bartender says, "but you obviously already had a little too much to drink."

Fuming mad the man staggers out the front door and walks back in through the side door. “Can I have a drink please?”

“Sorry,” the bartender says, “but you can’t have a drink here.”

The man staggers out again and then stumbles his way back in through the back door. “Can I please have a drink?”

“Enough!” the bartender screamed. “I told you, no drinks!”

The man looks at the bartender closely and exclaims “Geez! How many bars do you work at?!"

2 votes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "willyb1" |