business jokes

Category: "Business Jokes"
4 votes

If at first you don't succeed, hire it out!

4 votes
posted by "Marty" |
1 votes

A rather scruffy-looking man came into a bank. Reaching the head of the line, he said to the teller, "I wanna open a damn checking account."

"Certainly, sir," answered the teller, "but there's no need to use that kind of language."

"Could you move it along man? I just wanna open a damn checking account," growled the would-be customer.

"I'll be glad to be of service, sir," said the teller, flushing slightly, "but I would appreciate not being spoken to in that way."

"What the hell? Just let me open a damn checking account, okay?"

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to speak to the branch manager," said the annoyed teller, slipping off his stool and returning shortly with a woman who asked how she could be of service.

"Hell, I just won the TEN MILLION DOLLAR lottery," snarled the man, "and all I wanna do is open a damn checking account."

"I see," said the manager sympathetically. "And this MORON is giving you trouble?"

1 votes
posted by "HENNE" |
1 votes

Preparing for the most important presentation of his life, a sales rep went to a psychiatrist. "I'll implant a hypnotic suggestion in your mind," said the shrink. "Just say 'one-two-three,' and you'll give the presentation of your life. However, do not say 'one-two-three-four,' because it will cause you to freeze up and make a fool of yourself."

The sales rep was ecstatic. He tried it at home and gave a fabulous presentation. He tried it at work with his co-workers, and got a standing ovation. Then came the big day. Everything was set up in the boardroom and the CEO signaled him to start. The sales rep whispered under his breath, "One-two-three."

Then the CEO asked, "What did you say 'one-two-three' for?"

1 votes
posted by "HENNE" |
1 votes

A major speaker for the annual auto dealers convention was visiting the rest room just before he was to speak to the 10,000 members. He was asked, "Are you our special speaker?"

"Yes, I sure am and I am excited to be here," he replied.

"Are you nervous?"

"No, I'm never nervous before I give a big speech."

"If you are not nervous, then what are you doing in the ladies room?"

1 votes
posted by "Bumpa Hennigar" |