Memo from Director General to Manager:
Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes. As this is something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for employees to view the eclipse in the car park. Staff should meet in the car park at ten to eleven, when I will deliver a short speech introducing the eclipse, and giving some background information. Safety goggles will be made available at a small cost.
Memo from Manager to Department Head:
Today at ten to eleven, all staff should meet in the car park. This will be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will disappear for two minutes. For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with goggles. The Director General will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some background information. This is not something that can be seen every day.
Memo from Department Head to Floor Manager:
The Director General will today deliver a short speech to make the sun disappear for two minutes in the eclipse. This is something that can not be seen every day, so staff will meet in the car park at ten or eleven. This will be safe, if you pay a moderate cost.
Memo From Floor Manager to Supervisor:
Ten or eleven staff are to go to the car park, where the Director General will eclipse the sun for two minutes. This doesn't happen every day. It will be safe, but it will cost you.
Memo from Supervisor to staff:
Some staff will go to the car park today to see the Director General disappear. It is a pity this doesn't happen every day.
If you're bidding on a job for UPS, don't send your bid by FedEx.
If your computer says, "Printer out of Paper," this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the "OK" button.
If you want your refrigerator's ice maker to work, you need to hook it to a water source. Air doesn't make good ice unless it is mixed with water.
No matter how much data you add to your laptop, it will not get heavier.
A bad place to store your emergency backup diskette is on the underside of your desk drawer, secured by a large magnet.
It's okay to use the Polaroid Land Camera on a boat.
When the PC says, "Insert diskette #2," don't do it immediately. Remove disk #1 first, even if you're sure you can make them both fit in there.
When your PC says "You have mail," don't go to the company mail room and look for a package.
The French version of Netscape Navigator doesn't translate English language web pages into French.
If you're in the armed services, and it's April 1st, and you get an e-mail message to call Colonel Sanders for new orders, don't.
If you go to the computer store to buy a mouse pad, you don't have to specify whether it's for a Windows or a Macintosh.
Jill had applied for a job and when she returned home, her mother asked how the interview went.
"Pretty good I think," replied Jill. "But if I go to work there, I won't get a vacation unless I'm married."
Her mother, of course, had never heard of such a thing and asked, "Is that what they told you?"
"No," replied Jill, "they didn't tell me that, but on the application it said, 'Vacation time may not be taken until you've had your First Anniversary.'"