A man was the first to arrive at work one morning. The phone rang and he answered. When the caller asked for some specific information, the man explained that it was before normal business hours but that he would help if he could.
"What's your job there?" the caller asked.
The man replied, "I'm the company president."
There was a pause. Then the caller said, "I'll call back later. I need to talk to someone who knows something about what's going on."
I waited for a very long time for my number to be called at the Department of Motor Vehicles to renew my driver's license. As I approached the window, the clerk asked how she could help me.
I replied, "I need to get a haircut, can you save me my spot?"
She said, "Why didn't you get a haircut before your came here?"
I replied, "I didn't need one before I got here!"
A rather scruffy-looking man came into a bank. Reaching the head of the line, he said to the teller, "I wanna open a damn checking account."
"Certainly, sir," answered the teller, "but there's no need to use that kind of language."
"Could you move it along man? I just wanna open a damn checking account," growled the would-be customer.
"I'll be glad to be of service, sir," said the teller, flushing slightly, "but I would appreciate not being spoken to in that way."
"What the hell? Just let me open a damn checking account, okay?"
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to speak to the branch manager," said the annoyed teller, slipping off his stool and returning shortly with a woman who asked how she could be of service.
"Hell, I just won the TEN MILLION DOLLAR lottery," snarled the man, "and all I wanna do is open a damn checking account."
"I see," said the manager sympathetically. "And this MORON is giving you trouble?"