computer jokes

Category: "Computer Jokes"
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While Bill waited at the airport to board his plane, he noticed a computer scale that would give your weight and a fortune. He dropped a quarter in the slot, and the computer screen displayed: “You weigh 195 pounds, you are married and you’re on your way to San Diego.” Bill stood there dumbfounded.
Another man put in a quarter and the computer read: “You weigh 184 pounds, you’re divorced, and you’re on your way to Chicago.” Bill said to the man, “Are you divorced and on our way to Chicago?” “Yes.” Replied the man.
Bill was amazed. Then he rushed to the men’s room, changed his clothes and put on dark
glasses. He went to the machine again. The computer read: “You still weigh 195 pounds, you’re still married, and you just missed your plane to San Diego.

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posted by "Anonymous" |
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You know it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship with your computer when….

You wake up at 3 o’clock in the morning to go to the bathroom and you stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

You move into a new house and you decide to Netscape before you landscape.

Your family always knows where you are.


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posted by "Anonymous" |
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First friend: "I am getting so tired of having to wade through so much Spam e-mail. Every time I sign on to get my e-mail I have to discard 20 Spam messages."
Second friend: "I used to be in exactly the same situation: 20 Spam messages every time I signed on. But I solved that. Now I only get ONE every time I sign on."
First friend: "That's terrific. How did you do that?"
Second friend: "I sign on 20 times more."

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posted by "ETM" |
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A bachelor asked the computer to find him the perfect mate: “I want a companion who is small and cute, loves water sports, and enjoys group activities.”

Back came the answer: “Marry a penguin.”

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posted by "Anonymous" |