A Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions: what were the symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc. Suddenly, she interrupted him, "Hey look, I'm a vet... I don't need to ask my patients these kind of questions. I can tell what's wrong just by looking." She smugly added, "Why can't you?"
The doctor nodded, stood back, looked her up and down, quickly wrote out a prescription, handed it to her and said, "There you are. Of course, if that doesn't work, we'll have to have you put to sleep."
A little boy goes to the doctor and tells him, "I'm smart Doc!"
The doctor says, "Really?" He then points to the boys foot and says, "What's that?"
"That's my foot."
"Very good," says the Doc. "What's that?" he asks, pointing to the boys knee.
"That's my knee."
"Now, what's that?" he asks, pointing to the boys elbow.
"Wow. How do you know all this stuff?"
" Kidneys Doc, kidneys," the boy says touching his head.
There was this world famous painter. In the prime of her career, she started losing her eyesight. Fearful that she might not be able to paint anymore, she went to see the best eye surgeon in the world.
After several weeks of delicate surgery and therapy, her eyesight was restored. The painter was so thankful that she decided to show her gratitude by repainting the doctor's office. Part of her work included painting a gigantic eye on one wall.
When she had finished her work, she held a press conference to showcase her works of art in the doctor's office. During the press conference, one reporter noticed the eye on the wall, and asked the doctor, "What was your first reaction upon seeing your newly painted office, especially that large eye on the wall?"
To this, the eye doctor responded, "I said to myself, 'Thank God I'm not a urologist.'"
A woman with a baby walked into a doctor's office. She asked if they could weigh the baby.
A nurse said that the baby scale was not working that day, but what they could do is weigh the mother while she was holding the baby, and then weigh the mother by herself, and subtract.
The woman thought about this for a minute. "It wouldn't work," she said, "I'm not the mother; I'm the aunt."