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Category: "Elderly Jokes"

Elderly Jokes Jokes

1 votes

My father, a retired factory worker, keeps reminiscing about the "good 'ol days" of his younger years.

Then without skipping a beat, he'll say something like, "but it really isn't so bad nowadays."

Then he goes right back to how nice he had it as a teenager back in the 60's.

Then, right away it's back to the present, with "but technology today makes everything so much easier."

It's back and forth, back and forth from the present to the past, past to the present.

"You know dad," I finally told him, "you're nothing but a baby boomerang!"

1 votes
posted by "Alan Valentine" |
0 votes

She: Will you still love me when my hair is white?

He: I suppose so. I've loved you through four colors already.

0 votes
posted by "Caw" |
1 votes

A couple in their nineties are BOTH having problems remembering things. They decide to go to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they're physically in good condition for their age, but if they are having trouble remembering they might want to start writing things down to help them. Later that night while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. "Where are you going?" his wife asks.

"To the kitchen" he replies.

"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

"Sure."

"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks, recalling the doctor's suggestion.

"No, I can remember it."

"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. You'd better write it down because you know you'll forget it."

He says, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, so you'd better write it down!" she retorts.

Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down. Just don't start with that! Leave me alone!! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. I got it, for goodness sake!" Then he grumbles on into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "Where's my toast?"

1 votes
posted by "HENNE" |
0 votes

With the help of a fertility specialist, a 75 year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 75 year old mother says, "Not yet."

A little later they ask to see the baby again. Again the mother says, "Not yet."

Finally they say, "When can we see the baby?"

"When the baby cries."

"Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?"

The new mother says, "Because I forgot where I put it."

0 votes
posted by "Tomaso" |