OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet!
An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical Exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this -- first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. 'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.
'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an Armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between Her knees, but still nothing.'
The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?'
The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'
An Old man sits on a park bench crying when a passer by stops to give the man some comfort.
Looking at the old man he says “you look familiar, wait you are that lottery winner who won over a hundred million”
“Yes that me “replied the old man.
“But you own a yacht and a massive house and didn’t you marry that nymphomaniac blond starlet” he asks.
“Yes that’s all true” said the old man.
“So why are you crying” he asks.
“Because I have forgotten where I live!”
A young man walks up to a park bench where an elderly gentleman is quietly weeping asks if he is OK. The old guy says, "yes, I am great"! I am in love with a beautiful 25 year old model who adores me. She cooks all my meals and we make sweet love nearly everyday".
The young man asks, "So why are YOU crying"?
The old guy says, "I can't remember where I live...."