A young man walks up to a park bench where an elderly gentleman is quietly weeping asks if he is OK. The old guy says, "yes, I am great"! I am in love with a beautiful 25 year old model who adores me. She cooks all my meals and we make sweet love nearly everyday".
The young man asks, "So why are YOU crying"?
The old guy says, "I can't remember where I live...."
Two old men in a retirement village were sitting in the reading room and one said to the other, ''How do you really feel? I mean, you're 72 years old, how do you honestly feel?''
''Honestly, I feel like a new born baby. I've got no hair, no teeth, and I just wet myself.''
An old man was sitting at home telling his adventures to his grandchildren. He said:
"Oh my kids.. when I was young I used to go fishing in the desert!!"
The boys looked at him with a huge exclamation mark.. he ignored it and continued:
" one day I faced a lion.. a big lion.. it began chasing me and I was sure he would get me.. then he was able to catch me in the CORNER.. and gave me 2 options: (either to be eaten.. or to be fucked)"..
The old man stopped talking for a while and then the children looked at him and said: "so, grandpa, what did you choose?"
He said: "Well... I am still alive"