A police officer was investigating an accident on a two-lane, narrow road in which the drivers had hit virtually head-on.
One driver, an extremely elderly woman, kept repeating, "He wouldn't let me have my half of the road!"
After gathering as much information as possible, he angrily approached the other driver, who was examining his own damage. The police officer asked, "That old lady says that you wouldn't let her have her half of the road. Why not?
In exasperation, the man turns from his smashed car and says, "Officer, I would have been HAPPY to give her half of the road --- if she had just let me know WHICH half she wanted!!!!"
While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip.
When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table. And, she didn't miss them until after they had been driving about twenty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.
All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up one minute.
To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant and as the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, "While you're in there, you might as well get my hat."