The conductor of the Detroit Symphony Orchestra was having an issue with the percussion section. During rehearsals, it seems they were having a major problem keeping the proper beat, and the conductor was getting madder by the moment.
"Uh oh," one of the drummers remarked. "I think he's ready to blow."
"You're right," said the cymbal player. "It looks like we're in for a real tempo tantrum!"
A wannabe singer was auditioning for a part in a musical, in which she had to sing a song. She gave it her best shot and when she was done, asked the producer if she hit all the right notes.
"You certainly did," the producer replied. "You packaged them quite conveniently around all the wrong ones."
A man got lost in his car during a snow storm. He remembered something he had read earlier: "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it."
Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and he followed it for about 45 minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked the man what he was doing. He explained that he had read somewhere that if he ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.
The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the mall parking lot, now you can follow me over to the ice rink."