A Grandmother asked her teenage grandson to lightly water the plants outside in the backyard, but to not wet the grass because the younger grandchildren wanted to go out to play in the yard. She didn't want the yard to be muddy for them to walk through. The teenage grandson happily said he understood and went outside to begin watering the plants.
A few moments later the Grandmother looked out the window and was surprised to see her teenage grandson using the water hose to spray water all over the grass in the yard. She ran outside to ask him why he was soaking the grass in water, causing the entire yard to turn muddy.
He replied, "To rinse the morning dew off the grass so it won't be wet when the kids come out to play."
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "Just do it!"
A successful businessman wanted to send his elderly mother a very special gift for her birthday, a rare South American endangered bird valued at $5,000.
When he called his mother to see how she liked the surprise gift he was shocked when she said, "It was quite small, but tasted very good."
He asked her, after her shocking reply, "Mom, that was a $5000 bird that can speak five languages and you ate him?"
"Well, if he could speak five languages he should have spoken up."