family jokes

Category: "Family Jokes"
0 votes

My mother says she never holds grudges but then will blindside you with something that happened years ago.

Last week she said, "You know, you really hurt me on your birthday."

And I was like, "Which birthday was that?"

So she replied, "The first one. You have a really big head, you know."

0 votes
posted by "HENNE" |
$25.00 won 19 votes

My young son ran to me, crying. “Daddy, I stubbed my toe,” he sobbed.

“Let me kiss it and make it better,” I said. “Which toe was it?”

“The one that has no roast beef.”

19 votes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "sravanthi" |
1 votes

The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present.

“Who is the most obedient?” he asked. “Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?”

Five small voices answered in unison. “Okay, dad, you get the toy.”

1 votes
posted by "Katyman123" |
$25.00 won 11 votes

Texting acronyms can stump even the best of moms:

Mom: Your great-aunt just passed away. LOL.

Son: Why is that funny?

Mom: It’s not funny, David! What do you mean?

Son: Mom, LOL means Laughing Out Loud.

Mom: I thought it meant Lots of Love. I have to call everyone back.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Daughter: I got an A in Chemistry.

Mom: WTF!

Daughter: Mom, what do you think WTF means?

Mom: Well That’s Fantastic.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Mom: What do IDK, LY & TTYL mean?

Son: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.

Mom: Okay, I will ask your sister.

11 votes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "stee" |