golf jokes

Category: "Golf Jokes"
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Arriving at the 18th hole where a large pond separated the fairway from the green, the foursome was shocked to see a golfer so furious with his game he threw his bag into the water and stormed off to the parking lot.

As they approached the green they noticed the man returning to the pond, removing his shoes and fishing for his bag. "Wow," one of the men said, "it seems he has recognized the error of his ways."

At that moment the errant golfer found his bag, zipped open the pocket, found his car keys, and then threw the bag back into the water.

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posted by "Bumpa Hennigar" |
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Joe says, "How are the golf lessons going Mike?"

"Great, I learned I am standing too close to the ball....after I hit it."

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posted by "Bumpa Hennigar" |
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Old Joe was playing golf all alone as he stood on the 150 yard, par three, 9th hole. Just as Joe approached the tee a voice from the heavens said, "Joe use a new ball."

Joe looked around and not a soul was in view, so he put a brand new ball on the tee. Before he could take his shot the same voice called, "Joe, take a practice swing."

Joe obeyed and swung as hard as he could, slightly off balance at the end.

The same voice called one last time, "Joe, use an old ball."

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posted by "Bumpa Hennigar" |
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Two guys grow up together but after college one moves to Michigan, the other to Florida. They agree to meet every ten years in Vero Beach and play golf.

At age 30, they finish their round of golf and go to lunch.
“Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“Well, you know, they got the pretty girls there."
“OK.”

Ten years later at age 40 they play.
“Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.
“Why?”
“Well, you know, they got cold beer and the big screen TVs and everybody has a little action on the games.”
“OK.”

Ten years later at age 50 they play.
“Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“The food is pretty good and there is plenty of parking.”
”OK.”

At age 60 they play.
“Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“Wings are half price.”
“OK”

At age 70 they play.
“Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“They have 6 handicapped spaces right by the door.”
“OK.”

At age 80 they play.
“Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“We’ve never been there before."

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posted by "GeneB" |