judge jokes

Category: "Judge Jokes"
$15.00 won 10 votes

The judge asked the defendant to please stand. "You are charged with cutting down a tree without having permission to do so, using a chain saw."

From out in the gallery, a woman shouts, "Lying miser!"

"Silence in the court!" the Judge says. He turns to the defendant and says, "You are also charged with cutting a hedge in a protected area using an electric hedge trimmer."

"You tightwad!" the same woman in the gallery blurted out.

"I said QUIET!" yelled the judge. To the defendant, "You are also charged with using an electric drill outside your house during night hours."

"You good for nothing..." the woman from the gallery yelled.

The judge thundered at the woman: "If you don't tell me right now the reasons for your outbursts I'll hold you in contempt!"

The woman answered, "I've lived beside that man for ten years now, but do you think he ever had a tool when I needed to borrow one!"

10 votes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Leibel" |
0 votes

I was just reading that the economy over in New Jersey is so bad, that the Mafia had to lay off three Judges the other day!

0 votes
posted by "Craig " |
$6.00 won 1 votes

In a courtroom, where tensions are high...

Judge: Order! Order in the court!

Plaintiff: I'll take a ham on rye.

1 votes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "D-Gellybean" |
$15.00 won 9 votes

A defendant isn’t happy with how things are going in court, so he gives the judge a hard time.

Judge: “Where do you work?”

Defendant: “Here and there.”

Judge: “What do you do for a living?”

Defendant: “This and that.”

Judge: “Take him away.”

Defendant: “Wait! When will I get out?”

Judge: “Sooner or later.”

9 votes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Zelda" |