A defendant isn’t happy with how things are going in court, so he gives the judge a hard time.
Judge: “Where do you work?”
Defendant: “Here and there.”
Judge: “What do you do for a living?”
Defendant: “This and that.”
Judge: “Take him away.”
Defendant: “Wait! When will I get out?”
Judge: “Sooner or later.”
Several women appeared in court, each accusing the others of causing the trouble that they were having in the apartment building where they all lived.
The judge, with Solomon-like wisdom decreed, "Okay, I'm ready to hear the evidence...I'll hear the oldest first."
The case was dismissed for lack of testimony.
Two small county judges both got arrested for speeding on the same day. Rather than call the state Supreme Court for a visiting judge, each agreed to hear the other's case.
The first judge took the bench while the second stood at the defendant's table, and admitted his guilt. The sentencing judge immediately suspended both the fine and costs.
They switched places. The second judge admitted that he was speeding, too. Thereupon the first judge immediately fined him $250 and ordered him to pay court costs.
The second judge was furious. "I suspended your fine and costs, but you threw the book at me!", he fumed. The first judge looked at him and replied, "This is the second such case we've had in here today. Someone has to get tough about all this speeding!"