lightbulb jokes

Master: That shirt looks soiled, didn't you wash it?

Servant: I did! But while i was taking it to the shop for ironing i dropped it on the ground!

Master: You will have to wash it again!

Servant: Again, Sir?

Master: I'm a stickler for cleanliness. So anything that falls on the ground has to be washed with soap and water.

Servant: I'll remember that.

The next morning...

Servant: Sir, here is your newspaper.

Master: Yes! But why is it soaking wet, You idiot?

Servant: While i was bringing it to you i dropped it on the ground.... But I remembered your instructions and washed it thoroughly with soap and water.

How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb?

Who wants to know?!?!

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two - one to screw it most of the way and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.