My husband was trying to embarrass me at a party by carrying on about all the stuff women carry in their purses.
Instead of blushing I said, “You’re right. There IS too much stuff in my purse.” So, I removed his wallet, cigarettes, lighter, and car keys and handed them to him.
When he asked what he was supposed to do with them, I smile and said, “Get your own purse!”
Wife: "No, I'm telling you, I'm right! He couldn't eat the Trix because he was an adult rabbit and Trix were only supposed to be for kids."
Husband: "Well, I always thought it was just because he was a rabbit and not a person."
[A period of silence -- the wife looks down at her food.]
Husband: "What's wrong?"
Wife: "I'm just really getting tired of you always being wrong."
NIKE was founded by men, so its tagline says - "Just do it!"
If it had been founded by a woman, its tagline would have been...
"Just do it... if you want to... I don't want to force you... It's your life... Anyway you don't listen to me.. Do what you want to do... Who am I to say anything... But it has to happen and you have to do it!"
Wife asks her husband to pass her a newspaper. He replies, "Newspaper? Are yo really that behind reality? Technology has developed so much and you are still asking for the newspaper? Here, take my iPad instead."
The wife takes the iPad and uses it to kill a cockroach. Her husband faints.