One day a husband says to his wife, “Today is a fine day!” Next day he says it again. “Today is a fine day.” Again next day, he says same thing, “Today is a fine day.”
Finally after a week, the wife asks her husband, “Since last week, you are saying today is a fine day. I am fed up. What’s the matter?”
"Last week when we had an argument, you said, 'I will leave you one fine day.' I was just trying to remind you."
A husband came home from work one evening and walked into the kitchen where his wife was cooking dinner. He looked into the pots on the stove and smelled their content.
"Is the Preacher coming for dinner," he asked.
"No, he isn't," his wife replied. "Why do you ask?"
"Well, you've prepared a burnt offering. I just assumed something religious was going on."