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Category: "Marriage Jokes"

Marriage Jokes Jokes

$10.00 won 3 votes

If you want to change the world, do it when you are single!

Once you' re married, you can't even change the TV channel.

3 votes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "ajokes" |
0 votes

Wife: You’re an hour late getting home from work again!
Husband: I had to work late.
Wife: I can see blue chalk on your fingers; are you sure you didn’t stop by and play billiards with the guys before you came home?
Husband: (pause) err ah.. I’m using blue chalk at work to mark our outgoing shipments and white chalk to mark the received shipments. I’ve found this method to be quite efficient.

The next night he comes home on time and sits down to dinner.

Husband: We’ve been married ten years and you’ve never made TV dinners. You know I don’t like TV dinners.
Wife: It’s not a TV dinner!
Husband: Then why is it in a TV type severing tray and not on a plate.
Wife: (zero hesitation) I buy the tins and cook your entire dinner at once. I’ve found this method to be quite efficient.

0 votes
posted by "Marty" |
0 votes

I was walking down the street when I heard a skirmish down an ally. A guy was trying to take a woman’s purse. When I saw it was my ex-wife, I said a little prayer for the guy and just kept on walking.

0 votes
posted by "Marty" |
0 votes

A guy was gazing at the stars through his binoculars when his wife came out in a new dress. She asked if it made her hips look smaller. He paused for a second, turned his binoculars around, and then looked at her. "I’ve got some good news honey, you’ve never looked better."

0 votes
posted by "Marty" |