misc jokes

Category: "Misc Jokes"
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I finally realized that I needed to get in shape, so I made plans to join a club and work out for one full year.

The year I picked is 2023.

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posted by "Alan Valentine" |
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I was checking out at the busy super market, and the cashier was having problems. The register ran out of paper, the scanner malfunctioned, and finally the cashier spilled a handful of coins. When she totaled my order, it came to exactly $22.

Trying to soothe her nerves, I said, "That's a nice round figure."

Still frazzled, she glared at me and said, "You're no bean pole yourself."

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posted by "wadejagz" |
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I just did a computer rendition of what I'd look like fifty years from now.

Apparently fifty years from now I'll look like a hand full of dirt.

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posted by "Marty" |
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1. What does a typical politician and a dress manufacturer have in common?
One skirts the issues, the other issues skirts.

2. What does a torpedo and a kitchen appliance supplier have in common?
One sinks ships, the other ships sinks.

3. What does a phone app and a U-Haul have in common?
One is downloaded, the other is loaded down.

4. What does a balcony and a drunk have in common?
One has an overhang, the other has a hangover.

5. What does a clown hiding in a cake and a son who discovers his dad's
secret have in common?
One pops out, the other outs pop.

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posted by "Alan Valentine" |