news jokes
Favorite this joke Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’...
And then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
USA Today: We're Dead
The Wall Street Journal: Dow Jones Plummets As World Ends
Microsoft Systems Journal: Apple Loses Market Share
Sports Illustrated: Game Over
Rolling Stone: The Grateful Dead Reunion Tour
Readers Digest: Bye
Discover Magazine: How Will The Extinction Of All Life As We Know It Affect The Way We View The Cosmos?
Tv Guide: Death And Damnation: Nielson Ratings Soar!
Lady's Home Journal: Lose 10 lbs By Judgment Day With Our New "Armageddon" Diet!
Inc. Magazine: Ten Ways You Can Profit From The Apocalypse
You know it's just too hot when...
1. Fireflies are asking you to put them out.
2. Chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
3. Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
4. Your sweatpants are sweating and you're not even wearing them!
5. The thermometer resigned.
6. The National Weather Service says its too hot to declare a heat advisory.
A woman was shopping for something to wear to her 50th high school reunion when a group of teenage girls came into the same shop to try on dresses for their school formal.
“Gross,” complained one girl loudly to her friends, “this dress makes me look 40 years old!”
“May I have it?” called out the lady. “That’s just what I’m looking for!”
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