Q. What did it mean when the vampire saw himself in the mirror?
A. It meant he died.
Q. So how did the vampire die?
A. He accidentally ordered “stake” and eggs at the silver bullet cafe.
Q. So where do vampires go when they die?
A. Actually they reincarnate and go to work for the government.
Ronald and Hillary, opposing candidates for the upcoming local PTA (Parent-Teacher Association) elections, walk into a donut shop for a quick snack. As soon as Hillary gets to the front of the line, she shoves 3 donuts into her pockets.
Ronald says, "Really? You have to steal the donuts?"
Hillary replies, "I shouldn't have to pay for them since i will be the next PTA President!"
Ronald says, "Watch, I will get 3 for free by asking!" When he gets to the front of the line, he asks the clerk, "If i show you a magic trick, can i have 3 donuts for free?"
"Sure," replied the clerk.
So Ronald eats the first donut. "Mmmm, that was tasty." Then he eats the second and third donuts, "Mmmmm, they were just as good as the first!"
The clerk replied, "Where was the magic trick?"
Then Ronald replies, "Poof! Now look in Hillary's pockets!"