Category: Idiots Jokes

“I’d like to order a bar pizza,” the idiot says.
“Shall I ask them to cut it into six or twelve slices,” the barmaid asks.
“Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.”

Charlie borrowed his friends Volkswagen, while his car was in the garage.
When he got into it, he found out it would not start.
So he got out and raised the hood and looked down in amazement.
This other guy came by driving in his Volkswagen and saw that this guys was in trouble, so he stopped and went over. "What’s the trouble?" he asked. After taking a look, he said; "No wonder it won't start someone stole the engine." "But don’t worry" he said, “I have an extra in my trunk you can borrow".

You are blocking the way, sir, said the usher to a man sprawled in the aisle of a theater. “Please get up.” The man didn’t move or reply. The usher called the manager over, who said, “I must ask you to move.” Still the prone man didn’t reply. So the manager called the police. “Get up or I’ll have to take you in,” the officer said. “Where did you come from anyway?” The man stirred finally and said, “the balcony.”

When visiting South Africa, Daniel the Englishman asked a South African the question:
"Why is it that some South Africans say 'Ja' (pronounced as "ya") while others say 'Yes' if they have the same meanings?"
"Clever people say 'Yes' while stupid people say 'Ja'," was his reply.
"So, are you clever?" asked Daniel.
"Ja," replied the South African.