Category: Idiots Jokes

Q: What is the height of stupidity?
A: 2 men sitting on a motorcycle & fighting for a window seat

Lunatics
Three lunatics approach their Asylum doctor with a request for a weekend pass to the local city. "That's impossible says the doctor. You're all nuts. You'll get lost and never come back." But, the lunatics wouldn't relent until finally, exasperated, the doctor says "OK! If you can answer a simple question I'll sign the pass." He turns to the first lunatic and says "What's three times three?" The lunatic starts counting on his fingers "3, 7, 19, 38?. Is it 128?" The doctor shakes his head and turns to the next lunatic: "What's three times three?" The lunatic immediately shouts "WEDNESDAY!" The doctor, beginning to get disgusted turns to the last lunatic: What's three times three?" The lunatic thinks for a moment and then asks for a pencil and a piece of paper. That provided, she writes for some time furiously, and finally looks up and says "Nine." The doctor is amazed, but true to his word he begins filling out the pass. As he's writing he says "This is incredible, you've always been thoroughly insane. How'd you do it?" The lunatic responds, "Oh, it was easy I divided 128 by Wednesday!"

There were 3 men who were working on a bridge. One of the worker's name was John, the other one's name was Randall, and the last one's name was Joe. So one day when the 3 men were taking a lunch break, they all opened up their lunch box and saw what their wives had gave them for lunch. When John opened his lunch, he saw that he had peanut butter and jelly, so then he said, "If my wife gives me the same lunch tomorrow, I'm going to jump off this bridge. Then Randall opened his lunch and saw that he had spaghetti and meatballs. So then he also said the same thing as what John said. Then when Joe opened his lunch he saw that he was having a chicken salad. So then he said that he too was going to jump off the bridge if he got the same lunch the next day. So the next day, all 3 men had the same lunch from yesterday and they all jumped off. A week later when the funeral was scheduled, John's wife said, "If my sweetie- pie told me he wanted a new lunch, he should have told me!” then Randalls wife said "Why did he do it? Why??” then Joe's wife said, "Why did he jump off the bridge? He packed his own lunch!"

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the supermarket, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”