Category: Political Jokes

What did the young Arnold Schwarzenegger state, when attending music school in Austria, after turning down the chance to become another Beethoven, Mozart or Chopin? What did he say?

"I'll be Bach."

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."
-- J. Danforth Quayle
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
-- J. Danforth Quayle
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
"Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 8/11/89
"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/15/88
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 5/22/89
"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 12/6/89

Fidel Castro dies and goes up to heaven. He's standing at Heavens gate and St. Peter tells him it was because of what he did to his people, so he will be going to hell. When Fidel gets to hell he tells Satan he left his bags in heaven and needs to go get them. Satan says
"I'll get two of my demons to get them for you." The demons are in Heaven and they both are wondering where his bags are. One of the demons looks over the gates and they both start climbing the gates and an angel sees them and says " Great he's already sending refugees over."

This administration has conclusively discovered how to deal wit the deficit.
It’s a skill, which requires addition and distraction.