Yo momma's teeth so yellow, she makes cars slow down.

An old man was wondering if his wife had a hearing problem. So one night, he stood behind her while she was sitting in her lounge chair. He spoke softly to her, "Honey, can you hear me?"

There was no response.

He moved a little closer and said again, "Honey, can you hear me?"

Still, there was no response.

Finally he moved right behind her and said, "Honey, can you hear me?"

She replied, "For the third time, Yes!"

Q: How is Southwest Airlines capitalizing on Tiger Woods infidelty woes?

A: By introducing a special Tiger Woods rate where mistresses fly free!