Wife: I wish I was a newspaper so I’d be in your hand all day.

Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper, So I could have new one everyday.

Wife: If I knew you were this poor, I wouldn't have married you!

Husband: What do you think I meant when I said you were the only thing I have in this world?

First year University medical students were attending their first Anatomy Class. They all gathered around the table and there was a real dead body on the table. The Professor, started the class by telling them two important qualities of a doctor.

He said, "The first quality is to never be disgusted about anything in the body." For example, he put his finger in the dead body's arm pit and put the finger in his own mouth & tasted it.

Then he told the students to do what he did. The students hesitated for several minutes, but eventually everyone inserted their fingers in the body's arm pit and tasted it too. When everyone finished tasting their fingers, they were all frowning.

Then the professor looked at them and said: "The second quality is 'Observation'. I inserted my middle finger but tasted the index finger... Now learn to pay attention!"

An uneducated father with his educated son went on a camping trip. They set up their tent and fell asleep. Some hours later, the father woke up his son.

Father: Look up to the sky and tell me what you see.

Son: I see millions of stars...

Father: And what does that tell you?

Son: Astronomically, it tells me that, there are millions of galaxies and planets out there!

Father slaps the son hard on his hand and says, "Idiot, someone has stolen our tent!"