A man was looking out his window when he noticed that there was a snail on one of his plants. So he took the snail and threw him as far as he could.

Ten years later the old man heard a tap tap tap on his window, and when he looked up he saw a very cross snail who looked at him and said, “Hey, what did you do that for?!”

Q: Why didn’t the rooster cross the road?

A: Because it was chicken.

A soldier serving overseas far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote to break off their engagement and ask for her photograph back.

He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together, and sent them back with a note saying, “I regret that I cannot remember which one you are. Please keep your photo and return the others.”

A Sergeant was addressing a squad of 25 and said, "I have a nice easy job for the laziest man here. Put up your hand if you are the laziest."

24 men raised their hands, and the sergeant asked the other man, "Why didn't you raise your hand?"

The man replied, "Too much trouble raising the hand, Sarge."