What has two arms but can't raise them?

A chair.

Recently I went to a new golf shop in the big city. I shopped and studied and finally selected the new clubs I wanted. As I was checking out and getting ready to pay, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me".

Not sure what was going on and not being used to the big city ways, I did as she asked. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader.

I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer. I still don't think I looked that bad.

My doctor says she's been practicing medicine for ten years...

I asked her to call me when she's done practicing and gets serious.