Why don’t pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?

They just wash up on shore.

Since the corona-virus outbreak, my 27 year old son has been washing his hands vigorously.

In fact, he said, “I’ve been washing my hands so much, I found some answers to an old eighth-grade math test!"

Starving after hours of driving nonstop, my husband and I pulled over at a truck stop. While he gassed up the car, I went into the restaurant and placed our order to go.

After writing it all down, the girl behind the register asked, “Will that be all for you?”

“No,” I replied a bit defensively. “Some of it’s for my husband.”

We brought our newborn son, Adam, to the pediatrician for his first checkup. As he finished, the doctor told us, "You have a cute baby."

Smiling, I said, "I bet you say that to all new parents."

"No," he replied, "just to those whose babies really are good looking."

"So what do you say to the others?" I asked.

"He looks just like you."