I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper when a guy comes over and asks, "Are you reading that?"

I didn’t know what to say. So I said, "Yes."

I then stood up, turned the page, and sat down again.

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."

The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!".