And engineer died and when before St. Peter in heaven. St. Peter looked at his book and said "Oh, you belong with the devil."

After a few months in hell the engineer met with the devil and said, "You don't have anything here. I am an engineer and I can design buildings, air conditioning..all kinds of things."

The devil said, "OK... do it!"

When construction was complete the devil was very pleased. Then he gets a call from St. Peter who said, "Do you remember that engineer we sent you? We made a big mistake. He is supposed to be in heaven."

The devil replied with a loud and forceful voice, "YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!"

St. Peter replied, "We will sue you!"

The devil started laughing. "What are you laughing about?" Where are you going to find a lawyer?"

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer!

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

Oh Lord, give me patience, and, and... AND I WANT IT RIGHT NOW!