Bargains at the pet shop:
A hummingbird that knows the words
A bloodhound with hypoglycemia
A chameleon that's stuck on green
A depressed hyena
An absent-minded elephant

She said to the boutique manager:
"Do you mind if I try on that red dress in the window?"
He said: "Sure - can't be bad for business!"

"Out of courtesy,Sharks never attack lawyers."

You know you're really drunk if you can't lie on the floor without holding on.