Why do watermelons contain so much water?

Because they're planted in the spring.

Three doctors are in the duck blind and a bird flies overhead.

The general practitioner looks at it and says, "Looks like a duck, flies like a duck... it's probably a duck!" He shoots at it but misses and the bird flies away.

The next bird flies overhead, and the pathologist looks at it, then looks through the pages of a bird manual, and says, "Hmmm... green wings, yellow bill, quacking sound...might be a duck." He raises his gun to shoot it, but the bird is long gone.

A third bird flies over. The surgeon raises his gun and shoots almost without looking and brings the bird down. He turns to the pathologist and says, "Go see if that was a duck."

“Excuse me,” said the game warden as he approach Little Johnny, “you need a permit to be fishing on this lake.”

Little Johnny looked at his bucket full of fish and said, “I'm doing just fine with worms.”

One day, I saw a friend of mine crying over a bag of chips.

I asked him what's wrong and he said that he was just following the instruction written on the bag of chips.

"Tear here to open."