To keep her warm, a motorcyclist puts his leather jacket on his girlfriend backwards, so that the collar would cover her face. After they hit a patch of ice, there was a tragic accident. First on the scene was a farmer and his son. Soon a policeman arrives and questions the farmer.

"Well, sir, the poor guy down there in the ditch was apparently killed outright. The girl was in pretty good shape till Junior turned her head around."

The definition of "mixed feelings" is watching your mother-in-law drive your new Mercedes off a cliff.

What's the difference between a tree, a dog, and a lake?

Give up?

A tree HAS bark and a dog barks.

What about the lake?

THAT'S WHERE THE SUCKERS BITE!

The Three Bears were about to enjoy breakfast together as usual when they were interrupted by a terrible ROAARR outside their humble cottage. Immediately, the door came crashing in and this huge ugly, fierce looking bear stood in their midst!

Without hesitation, the monster slurped up Papa Bear's porridge, then Mama Bear's, finally licking every morsel from Baby Bear's little bowl.

Suddenly, the intruder produced a pistol and fired several shots through the cottage roof! Where upon the furry animal walked calmly out the open door and disappeared into the forest.

WHAT WAS THAT? exclaimed Papa Bear.

I HAVE NO IDEA! said Mama Bear.

I Think it was a Koala Bear said Baby Bear.

Oh, no, Son, insisted Mama and Papa Bear. That was too big and fierce for a Koala bear. I'm pretty sure it WAS a Koala bear, said Baby Bear, walking over to the family library, and pulling down the bear history book.

Sure enough! Under the heading, KOALA BEAR it read. .......eats, shoots, and leaves.