The student asked the professor how many problems there would be on the final exam.

The professor looked the student over and replied, "I think you will have lots of problems on the final."

Two men crash into each other at an intersection. The first man steps out of his wrecked car screaming, "You rotten driver, you wrecked my Mercedes! I'm a lawyer, and I'm going to sue you for everything you have!"

The other man responds, "You lawyers only care about money, you don't even realize you just lost an arm!"

The lawyer looks down where his arm should be and yells, "Where's my Rolex!"