Definitions...

MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either.

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!

DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes before marriage.

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

CLASSIC:
A book which people praise, but never read.

SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!

OFFICE:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

ETC:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

COMMITTEE:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their mistakes.

ATOM BOMB:
An invention to bring an end to all inventions.

DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

OPPORTUNIST:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

MISER:
A person who lives poor so that he/she can die rich.

CRIMINAL:
A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught.

BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and then shakes your confidence later.

DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and then kills you by his bills.