I wrote a romance novel. It's called, "She Fell In Love With A Painter, But He Gave Her The Brush."

As a kid, parent-teacher conferences were embarrassing and awkward for me and my parents. My teacher made my parents write on the blackboard one hundred times, "We will not have any more children."

I romantically looked at my girlfriend and said to her, "Love is in the air."

Apparently, she didn't agree. "No, that's pollen."