At Sunday dinner I told my wife and my son a joke. They didn't laugh. They said I was not funny. So, the next week I took two pieces of paper and wrote "Humor" on the paper. I then found a scented candle my wife likes and taped one piece of paper to it.

I also took the glass jar where she puts her pennies, dimes, nickels and quarters and taped the other piece of paper. I put them both on the table. When my wife saw them, pointing to the candle she asked, "What's this?"

I said, "This is your Scent of Humor."

She then pointed to the glass jar with all the coins in it, "And what's this?"

My reply: "This is your Cents of Humor."

The Sheriff's girl friend constantly asked the Sheriff to get married.

Girl: Please, marry me?
Sheriff: I can't. I have to go catch the bank robbers.

Girl: Please, marry me?
Sheriff: I can't. I have to go catch the rustlers.

Girl: Please, let's get married?
Sheriff: I can't I have to go catch those who held up the train.

Moral of the story: Some men would rather fight outlaws than in-laws!