There are two types of people in this world...

Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data...

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.

The bartender asks, "Do you mean a martini?”

The Roman replies, “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it.”

Why didn't the cheese want to get sliced?

It had grater plans.

A man opens his door and finds a snail on his front porch. He picks it up and throws it across the street.

A year later the man opens his door and finds the same snail on his front porch.

The snail looks up and says, "What the heck was that all about?!?!"