In court, the judge asked the accused, "Did you take Mr. Fred's wallet?"
The accused replied, "Yes, yes I did. I didn't want him to shoot himself."
Confused by the reply, the judge asks, "Why do you think he'd shoot himself with his wallet?"
"Because it was loaded, your honor."
John: "My grandpa is 98 years old, and he doesn't even use glasses."
Jack: "Wow, that is incredible!"
John: "Yep, he drinks straight from the bottle."