An old guy walks into a bar and the bartender asks for ID. "You've got to be kidding," he said. "I'm almost 60 years old!"

The bartender apologized, but said he had to see the license. The guy showed his ID, then paid and told the bartender to keep the change. "The tip's for carding me," he said.

The bartender put the change in the tip cup. "Thanks," he said. "Works every time."