My friend felt she needed to go to the dentist since her front tooth was chipped.

I asked her if it bothered her having it chipped like that?

She replied, “I am only concerned when I smile.”

I said, "Well in that case, there really is no need to go.”

A guy goes to see the doctor for his aching shoulder problem. The doctor said, "Okay, it is a bit inflamed. What I want you to do is put a bag of frozen peas on it, on and off for a week."

"The peas will work?" the guy asked.

The doctor replies, "Yes, just give peas a chance."

My MTI (Military Training Instructor) once told me that I was outstanding...

I thanked him...

He then said that I was out standing in the sun too long and it affected my brain.