A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren.

When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other... the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids!"

It was April and Tax Day was looming when an elderly woman showed up at my desk at the IRS. She said she required a thick stack of tax forms.

"Why so many?" I asked.

"My son is overseas," she said. "He asked me to pick up forms for the soldiers on the base."

"You shouldn't have to do this," I told her. "It's the base commander's job to make sure that his troops have access to the forms they need."

"I know," she began, "I'm the base commander's mother."

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list...

Now I can't read anything.