Leaderboard - 10 unique winners each week!

$6.00 3 votes

Son: "Gee pop, there's a man at the circus who jumps on a horse's back, slips underneath, catches hold of its tail and finishes up on the horse's neck!"

Dad: "That's easy... I did all that the first time I ever rode a horse."

3 votes

Joke Won 9th Place wins $6.00
posted by "Arthur Art Will Williams" |
$5.00 3 votes

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

04. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07. Things you buy now won't wear out.

08. You can eat supper at 4 pm.

09. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

10. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

11. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. You can't remember who sent you this list.

3 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place wins $5.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
3 votes

Our family took shelter in the basement after hearing a tornado warning. My husband told everyone to stay put while he got his cell phone out of the car, in case the lines went dead.

He didn't return for the longest time, so I went looking for him. I was upstairs calling his name, when I heard our phone machine click on.

"Hi," a voice said. "This is Dad. I'm locked out of the house."

3 votes

Joke Won 11th Place wins $0
posted by "Raac" |
3 votes

My wife and I had a disagreement and she said, "You always play devil's advocate!"

I said, "Well, not all the time."

3 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 12th Place wins $0
posted by "jesse509" |