A doctor worked on the tenth floor of an office building. In the building was a pub, where the doctor had a lemon daiquiri, every day at quitting time. The bartender's name was Dick.
One dyadic found out he didn't have any lemons and no time to get any. So he thought he would make up a hickory daiquiri instead and at the end of the day, the doctor would be too tired to notice.
The doctor sat down, took a sip and said "This isn't a lemon daiquiri, Dick!"...To which Dick replied, "No, it’s a hickory daiquiri, Doc!"

Did you hear about the farmer who wanted to buy a thousand hens, but didn't have the money...so...He put them on a layaway plan!

There was this old eccentric man who constantly chased children off his property, never said hello to anyone he met and because of his negative character, was described as "A man of means!”

A man and a woman are eating in a restaurant. Suddenly, the woman got something stuck in her throat, causing her to choke. The man rushes outside, cuts a limb off a tree and whacks the woman across the back with it, dislodging the object in her throat. The headline in the paper read "Man gives woman the hemlock maneuver"